dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
