im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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