sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
