Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
