I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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