For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
