Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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