Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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