Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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