There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
