Plan B is the new Plan A
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
