please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
