I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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