This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
