Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
