Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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