And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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