Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
