you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
