Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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