There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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