Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I puked a lego.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize