I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
