I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The ass gains better be worth it
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