forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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