its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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