yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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