Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
