I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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