i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
