You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
