Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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