I'm jealous of your bromance
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
