I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
