Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
