It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
