So drunk its hurt
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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