hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
