Kiss
Puke
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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