and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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