A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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