How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize