You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I understand Curling. That high.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
