I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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