the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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