what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Actions speak louder than pants.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize