Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
