If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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