From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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