there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You need Xanax blowdarts
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
