hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
