so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize