GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
