Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
