Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Vodka?
Forever.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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