is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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