I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
