Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you had me at cake vodka
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
