I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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