I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I understand Curling. That high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
