Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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