he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
