remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
