i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
